


Annotations Of Code

by MissC3PO



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, BB-8 takes after R2, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Poorly Written Space Battles, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26463676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissC3PO/pseuds/MissC3PO
Summary: C-3PO and R2 have had on hell of a life together. But after the threat of Darth Sideous is gone and good returns to the galaxy, what are the two's roles now?
Relationships: C-3PO/R2-D2 (Star Wars)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	1. Hothead

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-write of my earlier work "Choices" and "Annotations Of Code". This will involve the sequel trilogy, unlike my older pieces. 
> 
> According to this canon, Threepio and Artoo have two 'forms': droid/mechanical and humanoid/biological. This is due to young Anakin Skywalker's experimentation of the force and life. Ya'll read more about that in this piece. 
> 
> Enjoy a fic 6 years in the making.

The night was old and the stars were losing their luster to the reds and purples that were claiming the sky. The parties were dying down, people grouping up with friends and family to find a place called home. Ships began to leave Ajan Kloss, carrying those who still had a home to their home. The rest who didn’t have a place to call home stayed behind. The forest filled planet was home enough at the moment. 

Some of the ones staying behind were the droids C-3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8. They relaxed underneath a damaged X-wing, which was abandoned by it’s pilot for a chance to go home. 

“Did you ever think that we’d get this far?”

C-3PO was standing next to R2-D2, watching the sun rise above the trees, filling his opticals with green and rustic browns. 

“<Yes.>”

“<Yup!>” BB-8 chimed in, her perky binary beeps punctuating the cool air. 

“That’s very optimistic,” C-3PO said, shifting his feet, “But in all seriousness, didn’t you two think that we would lose this war?” 

“<Nope, we’re the best.>” R2 responded in a matter of fact way, as if it were a fact set in stone that the Republic, Rebellion, and Resistance was the ‘best’.

“<Dad, do we have to be droids right now? Can I change? Please?>” BB-8 looked up at R2 and C-3PO, her large dark optical gleaming in the bright light.

“<Or course, no one is stopping you.>” R2 blipped.

In a small shimmer of metallic light, the small orange astromech suddenly morphed into a small teenager. Bee Bee Eight stood up and brushed her curly ginger hair out of her face, giggling happily. 

“I’ma go find Poe and Finn! I’ma see if they are gonna propose soon or something! Or if they are making love!” Bee laughed, scampering off.

“Bee Bee Eight! Watch what you say! And please stay safe!” C-3PO called out, mentally trying to reach out to his rambunctious daughter. But in a flash of her orange overalls and curly pigtails she was gone. 

“<Relax Threepio,>” in a similar ripple of light, Artoo shifted into his humanoid self, “She’s gonna be fine. She got my genes.” Artoo adjusted his dirty trench coat and silver mop of hair on his head. 

“That’s what I’m worried about.” C-3PO mumbled in a tired fashion.

“Relax Threepio,” Artoo laughed, a deeper Mandolorian laugh, “We just defeated the Sith, hell, Darth Sidious is finally dead! You should relax a little, we no longer gotta run.” Artoo grasped C-3PO’s golden hand, “We’ve finally won, for real.”

“I know,” C-3PO sighed, “But we still have a long way to go.” 

“But we’ve got a whole galaxy on our side now. Whatever is left of the First Order, Empire, Separatists are going to be destroyed in a matter of time.” Artoo laughed, “They don’t stand a chance.”

“I do have to agree with you.”

“Hey, why aren’t you in your humanoid form?” Artoo asked, leaning up against C-3PO, “It would be a lot more comfortable and I could do you better.”

“I may get called to join someone for an expedition or such any minute.” C-3PO said, standing his ground against Artoo’s attack on his desires. 

“Come on, the child is gone for a bit, and the Falcon is still here,” Artoo winked, “It would be like the good old times.”

“Artoo Deetoo!” C-3PO was becoming flustered, “I’m not sure this is the time-”

“It’s sure as kriff is!” Artoo smiled, pushing against C-3PO’s golden body, “lemme do you like I did you on Naboo.”

“Fine.” in a small flurry of golden air and light Threepio shifted into his humanoid self. Threepio was the most gorgeous of the humanoids, with lovely golden hair and porcelain skin that made him look like a marble statue. He wore a black undershirt and golden pants, all topped off with a diplomatic golden overcoat and jewelry. To top it all off he wore a pair of wide rimmed glasses, which was a sign of class and intelligence in the galaxy. 

“This is the last time you manipulate me to satisfy your needs, you hotheaded-”

“I get it,” laughed Artoo, who grabbed Threepio’s arm and became pulling him to the Falcon, “We both need this! Don’t tell me you don’t.”

“I do.” Threepio sighed, defeated again.


	2. I'm a Skywalker Too

The interior of the Millennium Falcon was nice and cool, protecting Threepio and Artoo from the hot sun shine beating down outside. The two were laying on one of the small beds inside the Falcon, all snuggled up. Artoo’s small snores punctuated the silence, keeping Threepio’s anxious mind from wandering into a worry filled state. Though Threepio did have a small list of things to be worried about. Luckily for him it wasn’t life or death.

“Artoo?” Threepio nudged Artoo, who snorted a little and opened his blue eyes.

“Yes Threeps?” Artoo sighed, snuggling closer to Threepio’s chest.

“What is going to happen now?”

“What do you mean, ve’vut cyar'ika?”

Threepio sighed, and wrapped his arms around Artoo’s smaller body, as if Artoo was a security blanket. “What are we going to do now? We don’t have a place to go for home, a job, anything now.”

“We’ve got each other, our family.” Artoo sighed into Threepio’s chest, trying to sooth his husband. “Home is wherever we go.”

“That’s very sweet, but not very practical,” Threepio sat up, leaving Artoo laying on the bed awkwardly, “We have no place to go, no job or money to provide for our family, anything.”

“Maybe you should just, I don’t know, trust in ‘The Force’?” Artoo sat up, waggling his fingers to get the point across.

“I’m not a Jedi, Artoo.”

“That’s true. You wouldn’t have finished in five minutes if you were a Jedi.” Artoo shrugged, laughing to himself.

“Artoo Deetoo!” Threepio blushed brighter than a Tatooinian sun, “At least I- oh, never mind.”

“See Threepio, loosen up,” Artoo stood up on the cool floor of the Falcon, and kissed Threepio’s cheek, “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

“Ni balyc kar'tayl gar darasuum,” Threepio sighed, pressing his cheek into Artoo’s. 

“Who’s in here?” a feminine voice sounded throughout the ship, echoing in the men’s ears. The romantic moment was over, replaced by nervous energy. 

“Oh kriff it’s Rey.” Artoo quickly shifted into an astromech with C-3PO following suit. 

“Mistress Rey, it’s us,” C-3PO called out, trying to not sound disappointed that she ruined the romantic mood. 

“Hello C-3PO, R2-D2,” Rey stepped into the main hold, BB-8 rolling behind her. 

“<Hi!>” BB-8 chirped, rolling up to C-3PO and R2, “<Poe and Finn did propose! It was so cute!>” 

“<Lit.>” R2 responded.

“Come on BB-8, I need your help.” Rey beckoned BB-8 into the cockpit, “Do you have the charts for getting to Tatooine?”

“Tatooine? Why would anyone want to go to Tatooine?” C-3PO asked, sounding a little upset.

“Just some unfinished business, 3PO.” Rey smiled sadly, tapping two lightsabers that were clipped to her waist. 

C-3PO and R2-D2 found themselves on the Falcon, going to Tatooine with Rey, Chewbacca, and BB-8. C-3PO was positively negative about this all.

“Why did I have to go, I have no use on this mission, unless Rey is deciding to have a discussion with the locals.” C-3PO pouted, his golden body glinting in the low lighted hold of the ship.

“<Do you think I know?>” R2 asked, sarcastically.

C-3PO was then silent for a few minutes, not responding to any prompts from R2. R2 had seen C-3PO do this multiple times in the last years, but it was something that he shrugged off. C-3PO was an older protocol droid with so many memory wipes that it could have taken a toll on the droid. 

But then C-3PO’s optical lights flickered. 

“Destiny.” 

“<Wot?>” R2 asked, confused.

“Oh, nothing,” C-3PO dismissed his unprompted murmur with a flick of his wrist, “I just need to talk with Rey,” C-3PO began to walk to the cockpit when he felt something wasn’t right.

“<We landed a few minutes ago, Threeps,>” R2 explained, “<Rey is outside.>” C-3PO shuffled past R2 right outside.

A binary sunset already was occurring, bathing the dunes in red and orange light. The sky was beginning to become crimson, like blood on a white robe. 

C-3PO looked around, admiring the scenery, when something then caught his attention. The homestead, they were on the Skywalker homestead. Fragmented memories filled C-3PO’s head, like a flurry of snowflakes, melting away once one started to feel familiar.

“She really just did that, did she?” C-3PO jumped back just as he heard that familiar voice. 

“Master Luke!” C-3PO exclaimed, backing up from the shadowy being next to him. 

“I told you to not call me master, Threepio.” The Force ghost rolled his eyes, laughing, “In fact, you are more of my master.”

“Come again?”

“You heard me,” Luke laughed, elbowing the golden droid, “You’re my father's creation, a brother to me, and were more integrated with the Force than I was for a time. You’ve mastered hiding your Force signature behind your golden exterior.” Luke sighed, “and your training, what little you had has strengthened you, Threepio.”

“I don’t fully understand…” C-3PO stammered, “I’m not a Jedi, I’m just a droid-”

“With a gift,” Luke reminded him, “given to you by the Force and my father.”

“I don’t fully remember your father, Anakin Skywalker.” C-3PO’s snowflakes begun again, making him feel more stupid, “I don’t think I ever will. Artoo told me he was unable to salvage my Clone Wars era memory files-”

“Threepio,” Luke shook his head, “Memories are not just files, they are a part of you. You must regain those memories through more training, and training others in the ways of the Force.”

“You mean-” C-3PO saw what was going on.

“C-3PO, Rey may be strong in the Force and connected to those before her, but she is still clumsy and stupid about it.” Luke laughed, his eyes light with amusement, “She needs a teacher, a master.”

“You mean I-”

“C-3PO, under my authority and the authority of the Jedi Knights, you are now,” Luke added a dramatic pause, since he was a dramatic person, “A Jedi- if you choose to become one.”

“I- I of course,” C-3PO stammered, filled with pride and fear at the same time, “But I don't think I have what it takes to become a Jedi.”

“As a Jedi before me told me, ‘that is why you fail’. You are full of strength and power, Threepio, don’t underestimate it. You are human and droid, that in itself is powerful. Learn to use your gifts well, and you will take down the evil still ruling the galaxy.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! Palpatine is-” C-3PO looked to his side and Luke was next to Rey, smiling at Leia’s side. Rey was lifting her new lightsaber, a yellow bladed saber which looked as if it were made from a sun.

A local approached Rey, asking her who she was. She responded with “Rey.”

“Rey who?”

Luke and Leia nodded to Rey, smiling with shining eyes.

“Rey Skywalker.”

“And I’m See-Threepio Skywalker… Master Jedi.” C-3PO mumbled, facing the binary sunset, “I’m a Skywalker too.”


	3. Might As Well Tell Her...

Rey began to walk back to the Falcon, new lightsaber clipped to her belt and a new name. She felt newfound pride in being a Skywalker, being a part of a line of power and good. Her mind began to drift elsewhere, to places she’d train and become a better Jedi, a better person in general. She had so much to learn, and worry pricked at her stomach. Who would train her? Luke mentioned he had selected someone to train her more, but he never said who. Luke was that type of person. 

“Mistress Rey! Mistress Rey!” C-3PO stumbled out of the ship, waving his hands in the air, “Oh Mistress Rey!”

“Not right now 3PO,” Rey responded, walking up the ramp of the ship, mentally pushing C-3PO away.

“I need to talk to you right now, ma’m.” C-3PO said, trying to sound polite. He was trying his best to not sound desperate or upset. R2 picked up on that, and rolled over to C-3PO and tapped his leg.

“<Are you ok?>” 

“<Yes, but I need to talk to Rey,>” C-3PO explained in binary, “<I talked to Luke,>”

“<He’s… dead!>” R2 bleeped back in surprise, “<How?! Are you alright?>”

“<You said Anakin Skywalker made me, right?>”

“<Yeah.>”

“<You remember the Inquisitor who wanted BB-8 after she was born?>”

“<Duh.>”

“<Long story short, I have the force, R2.>”

“<Kriffin’ hell Threepio,>” R2 was stunned, “<Why didn’t you ever tell me? That was what all your weird dissociative moments where? You and the force?>”

“<It never dawned on me I could actually be a force user,>” C-3PO explained, “<And Luke Skywalker just knighted me as a Jedi.>”

“<My stars,>” R2 beeped in surprise, “<and let me guess, he wants you to train Rey? That lil bastard of a ‘Jedi’?>”

“<Yes,>” C-3PO sighed, a tired sound, “<He wants me to train her.>”

“<Are you going to?>

“<I’ll try,>” C-3PO huffed, “<But first I need to tell her about myself and what Luke told me,>” C-3PO did a weird nod, like he was rolling his eyes, “<That is, If she will even take a second to listen to me.>”

“<I’ll help you, my sexy golden ‘Jedi’.>” R2 made a laughing sound, which made C-3PO inwardly smile. 

R2 rolled up to the cockpit, C-3PO in tow. The Falcon had already jumped to hyperspace, and the two pilots were lazing around. Chewy was brushing a knot out of his hair, his mind elsewhere. Rey was sitting, meditating and such. Typical Rey. 

R2 squeezed into the cockpit and next to Rey. Rey didn’t seem to notice, typical Rey. R2 then zapped Rey’s thigh, making her jump back with a painful yelp.

“What was that for, R2?” Rey barked at R2, obviously ticked off. 

R2 decided this would be the perfect moment to let Rey have a piece of his mind. In a little ripple of light, Artoo transformed into a humanoid, standing next to Rey’s seat. Chewy made a low chuckling noise, realizing Rey had never seen the droids like this before. Just like the old times.

“C-3PO would like to talk to you, Rey,” Artoo smugly smiled, enjoying every second of Rey’s confused and shocked look and demeanor. 

“Miss Rey,” See-Threepio strode up next to Artoo, trying to brush his liquid gold-like hair out of his face, “I need to have a discussion with you.”

“O-of course,” Rey stammered, unsure what to think, “I’ll be back, Chewbacca,” Rey stood up out of her seat and followed Threepio and Artoo into the main hold of the ship. Her movements were very choppy and automatic. Her brain was trying to figure out how these two droids which she thought were nothing more than mindless robots, were much more than that. 

“Miss Rey,” Threepio began, turning around to Rey, “You may be shocked by this, especially after your misguided use of me, but ‘bygones shall be bygones’.”

“I- what do you mean?”

“Let me get to the point,” Threepio sighed, realizing Rey was going to be much harder to talk to, “I was created by Anakin Skywalker, according to Luke Skywalker and Artoo here.” Artoo nodded his head, “And Anakin gave me a very special gift that would change my destiny, and others around me.” Threepio put a hand on Artoo’s head, playing with his silver hair.

“You’re telling me, you’re-” Rey started rubbing her temples.

“Yes, I am a force user, Rey, and a Skywalker.” Threepio smiled, his pearly teeth shining in the low light of the hold. 

“My stars,” Rey shook her head, not knowing how to think, “I’m sorry for treating you so poorly, Threepio, I-”

“As I said, Miss Rey, let bygones be bygones.”

“Alright,” Rey stammered, wringing her hands, “I can;t feel your force signature,”

“Oh! Sorry,” Threepio sighed, “Luke, a long time ago, thought that after years of hiding it I may need training to let my force signature be shown.”

“Luke, I saw him on Tatooine, as a force-” 

“I did too, we had a discussion,” Threepio then chuckled, “And why did you bury Anakin’s lightsaber in the sand? Luke told me the Anakin told him that he hates sand. That was an improper way of ‘memorializing’ the Skywalkers before you.”

“Well I thought-” Rey paused, and her eyes lit up, “Wait, you talked to Luke? Like, as one with the force?”

“Yes I did, I’m pretty sure I implied that much.” Threepio rolled his eyes in a sassy fashion, “We had a discussion about what to do about you and your training.”

“Luke mentioned something to me about he selected someone to train me, wait,” Rey’s jaw dropped, “See-Threepio, you-”

“I was knighted as a Jedi to train you, Miss Rey,” Threepio nodded, “I will train you in what little I can with the force, and hopefully regain my lost memories and become a Jedi like my ‘father’, Anakin Skywalker, before me.”

“Kriffin’ Stars,” Rey swore under her breath, “You, a Jedi? When? Where? Why? How?”

“Might as well tell ‘er the story, the whole story,” Artoo butt in, smiling.

“I don’t remember the Clone Wars or anything before that, it’s all shattered pieces in my mind, Artoo,” Threepio lamented, looking downcast.

“But I remember them, including what you told me a long time ago, and what feels like a galaxy far, far away.” 

“That would be nice,” Rey shrugged, “Please, Artoo, tell me about you two’s story.”

“Well,” Artoo smiled, “It all started on Tatooine, with a boy and a droid…”


	4. Beauty in The Outer Rim

On the ugly, dusty outer rim planet of Tatooine, a young boy stood on a tarnish sandy hut. The suns were falling, and everything was coated in a reddish purple hue. Little Anakin Skywalker stood in the hut, woken up by a dream he had right as he fell asleep. 

In his dream, a man's voice, gentle and very warm, had told him of something, something about little Ani. 

“Anakin Skywalker, you may be young, and naive,” The man said but not seen though, “You have a power, one that few will even understand. You can see things far before they will even happen. And, you can create life. Try it.” Anakin looked around but still saw nothing.

“Your droid, try it on him.” 

Anakin Skywalker woke up, and shot out of bed afterward, and found himself standing there, as the suns were falling. 

Anakin imagined the droid's body, who was functioning minimally as he was working on it. He then, with his mind, reached out and wrapped around the droid. Then, he felt something, like a heartbeat from the droid. It was strange but enticing to the little boy. Anakin then had an idea. He matched his heartbeat with the droids, and something happened. 

Anakin opened his eyes and saw something that made him stand there in shock. 

A man, really, an older teenager, stood in front of him. The droid was human. Anakin walked backward, looking at the man. And the man looked at him, puzzled. 

The man wore gold-rimmed glasses, and nothing more. He was naked, and from what it seemed, afraid. 

“M-master… A-Anakin? What, what happened to me?” The man asked, shocked as he looked down at himself. 

“I think I made you human,” Anakin said, shocked as much as his droid. 

“My… my stars…” The man said, shyly, “And… I don’t even have a name…” The man said, looking at himself.

“That is true,” Anakin said, looking up and down at the man. The man then clenched his eyes together, and then, a swirl of sparkly smoke, the man turned into an unplated protocol droid. 

Anakin smiled, and reached out with his mind to the man, and prodded, for something. 

“I think I have a name for you.” The boy said, “Your name, from what I feel is right, will be Threepio, See-Threepio. A name for a droid, and a human.

Later that week, Anakin woke up early in the morning, and walked over to the turned off protocol droid, and switched him on. 

“Why, hello Master Anakin, good morning,” Threepio said, standing up and wobbling over to his master. Anakin smiled and looked at Threepio's face, then to his missing eye. 

“Oh Threepio, don’t worry, I’ll get you a new eye,” Anakin said, smiling at his droid.

“Master Anakin, I worry all the time,” See-Threepio said, un-sarcastically. Anakin laughed and patted the droid on the back.

“And I’ll get you plating, so you don’t look so wiry,” Anakin remarked, looking at his droid with an expression that was unreadable by See-Threepio. Anakin laughed to himself and trotted out the door to his work. Threepio for the rest of the day laying down on a workbench switched off and waiting for his master to get back. 

At the end of the day, a sandstorm had come around and was blowing violently on the little slave quarters. Shmi was trying to sweep out all the dust and sand, but with no avail. She looked over at the shut-off droid and frowned.

“He’d be able to help me more, once he gets that star forsaken eye,” Shmi said to herself, a bit annoyed at the sand and the droid. 

Just then, Anakin walked into the house, with a bunch of strangers. Shmi’s heart skipped, afraid her son was in trouble. But the strangers took off their hoods and revealed nice looking men with smooth skin and shiny eyes. 

“Mom!” Anakin said with a smile, “These are Jedi Master Qui Gon Jin, Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme, Jar Jar Binks, and R2-D2.” The boy said, gesturing at the people who wandered into Shmi’s quarters. 

“Why, hello,” Shmi said, shaking hands with Master Qui Gon Jin and Padme. She smiled and offered the group some food. She went and set a table for the strangers as little Anakin went to show Padme his droid.

Behind Anakin and Padme, A little astromech named R2-D2 followed, wondering who this boy was talking about. That was until Anakin walked up to a skeletal figure of a protocol droid and switched him on. Artoo beeped silently in surprise as one of the droid's eyes lit up and he started to speak in a rich, sweet, and robotic voice.

“Oh my, Master Anakin. How are you today?” The droid said, looking at his master, “I can’t really see the greatest…” 

Anakin perked up, and grabbed an identical eye, like the one the droid already had, and fixed it to the droid's “eye socket”.

“Ahh, much better.” the droid said. Then, the droid looked over to R2-D2 and almost gasped in surprise. To the droid, R2 seemed very handsome. 

“Why, hello!” the droid said pretty professionally, “What is your name?”

Artoo beeped out his name, and the droid almost smiled.

“Nice to meet you Artoo Detoo, I am See-Threepio, human and cyborg relations!” Threepio said, in a cheerful manner. Artoo beeped out something to Threepio, and he gasped.

“My… my parts are showing?!” Threepio gasped in surprise, and proceeded to cover his parts with his thin hands. Artoo beeped and whistled out something that seemed like a laugh, and followed Threepio and the other into the main room of the quarters. 

The next day when Anakin Skywalker had a break for his constant slave work, he and the droids worked on a podracer behind the quarters. Padme and the Jedi watched the boy work and laughed at the antics of the Gungan as he numbed his tongue and got his hand stuck in parts of the podracer. Threepio and Artoo shared comments about the clumsy Gungan and helped Anakin work on the racer. 

The two droids chatted a little more. Threepio revealed that he was programmed in millions of languages and basic podracing things. Artoo revealed he had worked on Queen Amidala's ship, and saved it from an attack and possible annihilation. Threepio commented that all that seemed a bit exaggerated and that he didn’t believe it, and Artoo argued back. The droids did find themselves becoming closer and closer emotionally, even know it's said droids have no emotions. 

After overhearing some things about the Jedi and the Podracing, Threepio and Artoo found themselves at a podracing track, getting Anakin's podracer ready for a huge, and very dangerous race. 

Threepio was fine, staying behind the scenes and things, especially with his “parts showing”. But all changed when Anakin handed Threepio a flag and told him to go represent him in the beginning parade of flags. Threepio, if he were human at the time, would have turned pale and passed out. But the droid didn’t and got ready to march out on the track with Anakin's flag. It was a bit embarrassing, but he was going to do it, after all, it was to help his master become free. He owed his master this. Anakin gave him life, so Threepio felt it was time to repay him. 

Threepio lined up behind the rest of the marching line, holding a flag with some symbol that Anakin painted on it. Threepio found himself shaking a little bit nervous about marching in front of a lot of strange humanoids. 

But the parade started before Threepio had the chance to think about it even more. Loud music played all over the stadium, and the marchers lifted up their flags and started to march. 

Bright light filled Threepio’s optical receptors and almost blinded him. It was a strange experience, especially with the music and the loud roars of the pods. Threepio mechanical thought had a lump in it, but he kept marching. He held the flag high, and turned and stopped when everyone else did. 

Soon, all the marchers were ushered off the track, and the races started. Threepio, in the shadows of the stands, turned himself human and vomited on the gritty sands below the stands. He mustered up all his strength, turned droid, and tottered up to the watch column that the Jedi, Padme, and Artoo Detoo were on. 

“<Where the kriffin’ hell were you?>” Artoo asked, rudely.

“How rude,” Threepio said, slapping Artoo’s domed head, “I was below the stands…”

“<Doing what?>” Artoo asked, skeptical. 

“Nothing,” Threepio said awkwardly, for lying was not his strong suit. 

“<My stars… vod, tell me.>” Artoo said, angerly. Threepio looked around, noticing that the Jedi, Jar Jar, Shmi, and Padme were not paying attention to the droids, but the races.

“I may have been expelling vomitus through my oral area.”

“<Throwing up?! Droids can’t do that!>” Artoo said, confused and angry. Threepio, as it seemed, turned red, and pushed R2 to the side.

“I… I have got to tell you something… and it’s something that may shock you,” Threepio said, looking Artoo dead in the eye. “Please, don't freak out, my friend,” Then, Threepio’s body shimmered, and before Artoo Detoos' eye, Threepio turned into a human being. Well, a mostly nude one wearing a leather skirt around his waist. 

Artoo beeped in surprise. He backed up and started chirping and beeping wildly. 

“Shh! It's me! See Threepio!” Threepio said, covering Artoos audio relayer. Artoo stopped beeping and looked at Threepio. He was… pretty cute to Artoo. Artoo catcalled, and Threepio turned red and adjusted his golden glasses. 

“<Am I able to do that?>” Artoo whistled, and Threepio looked around and sighed.

“I don’t really know… Master Anakin was the one who gave me this… gift.” Threepio sighed, Maybe you may be able to do so,” Threepio almost started to blush, “It would be… nice.” Threepio said, thinking of what Artoo would look like as a humanoid.

“<I’d be hot as Mustafar!>” Artoo chirped, as he playfully zapped Threepio in the leg. Threepio jumped and slapped Artoo on the head. Threepio quickly turned back into his robotic form and kicked Artoo. 

“I bet you would be Artoo,” Threepio said, placing a hand on Artoo’s head. 

The race finished and Anakin came out as the winner. Threepio and Artoo cheered, happy and excited for the young boy’s win. 

But after all that, Anakin had to leave to get to the Jedi temple… all the way on Coruscant. Anakin was hastily packing his things, and saying goodbye. 

But before Anakin left, R2 had something to show Threepio. R2 had pulled C-3PO aside, and quickly shifted into a humanoid.

“How?!” Threepio gasped, transitioning into his humanoid body, “Did Anakin?”

“No! Not that I know of,” Artoo laughed, “I just suddenly had this, tinging, in my processor, and suddenly bam! I got what you got!”

“Wow- it’s a-” Threepio was about to start gushing when R2 started his prattling.

“I’m the hottest droid ever!” Artoo yelled, showing off his semi-naked body to Threepio. Artoo had shiny silver hair and blue eyes, and a pair of goggles on his forehead. One of the lenses was shaped like Artoos eye, another was a white panel. 

“You… you are…” Threepio said, a bright red blush coming to his plump cheeks. Artoo smiled, and twirled into Threepio, knocking the young man over.

“Artoo! Watch where you’re going! You could have hurt me!” Threepio scowled. Artoo murmured a “sorry”, and planted a kiss on Threepio’s cheek. Threepio stood frozen to that spot, his heart rate jumping up. Artoo, kissed him? Sure, it was just a kiss on the cheek but it was very...

“I have to go… please, don’t forget me.” Artoo suddenly explained, a sad look in his blue eyes. Threepio looked into those sad eyes and responded.

“I never will. I promise.”

That phrase beat in both of the droid’s heads as they separated. It would be years until both would see each other again, but over those years, they never forgot each other.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My older readers will recognize this chapter as a re-done version of a chapter from the old version of 'Annotations of Code'. Well, that's because it's pretty much a fixed version of such. There will be so much more chapters like that, and new chapters between such that. 
> 
> Hey, if ya'll like this so far, please kudo and comment. Life sucks and I live on such things, alongside gay Transformers fanfiction (huuu bottom Optimus Prime...)
> 
> Thankies to mah frens on the C-3PO Protection Club Discord server for all their cute headcanons and support for this fic.


	5. I Never Took You as A Romantic

“I never took you as a romantic, R2,” Rey said, sitting at the holochess table. C-3PO nodded in agreement, light flashing off of his wide rimmed glasses. 

“So? What if I am? Is that a problem?” Artoo snapped, playful light dancing in his eyes. 

“It’s not,” Threepio smiled, twirling a lock of his golden hair, “But you're not the greatest story teller in my mind's eye.”

“Sure, like you can do better?”

“Yes, I can.” Threepio crossed his arms across his chest, smiling, “remember the time with the Ewoks?”

“Oh, yah.” Artoo scratched his head, “but that may have also been them thinking you were still a god and thinking everything you said was great.” Rey almost started laughing hysterically. 

“Mistress Leia thought I did a great job,” Threepio sighed, remembering another one of his passed on friends. He ran some fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself.

“Yeah…” Artoo mumbled, a sad look filling his face. “She did.”

Rey picked up on the sadness the two felt. She wanted to comfort them, but she had no idea what to say. She also knew Leia, but not as long as these two had. Rey kept her mouth shut.

“So, what happened after that, Artoo?” Threepio piped up after a quiet minute, “You know I can’t remember anything.”

“No need to remind me, Threepio,” Artoo laughed, dissipating the sad vibrations in the air, “I’ll keep going.”

“I’m wondering how you two met up, since Artoo whent with Padme and Anakin and you with Shmi,” Rey turned to Threepio, curiosity etched on her face.

“I’m wondering that too,” Threepio laughed. 

“Well if you two would be quiet, I’ll keep telling you.” Artoo shook his head, brushing his goggles back up onto his forehead. Chewy waltzed into the room, human BB-8 in his midst. Rey’s eyes practically popped out of her face when she saw the young pre-teen walk up to Threepio and sit by him.

“Don’t tell me-” Rey held her hand up, “BB-8-”

“Oh yeah, we forgot to mention that,” Threepio laughed, a metallic crisp sound, “BB-8 is our daughter.” 

“Oh.” Rey chuckled to herself, “That makes sense.”

Artoo sighed, “So, as I was saying…”


	6. A Worn Shawl and Small Doll

It was a long time indeed. Each hour on Tatooine was a long time. Each minute, second, felt like countless days in the sweltering binary sun’s rays. One could only work and relax at the local cantinas to try to pass the hours by. 

The only ways to get a good amount of money was to run a moisture farm, run a cantina, or work under Jabba, the biggest gangster in the outer rim. The Lars family ran the largest moisture farm, complete with state of the art vaporizers and droids. They were rich enough to own up to twenty more farms, but the family craved to live a more simple life. They would rather not have their name be one whispered between cantina patrons and washed up bounty hunters wanting some extra cash. 

But the Lars family did something a little more noble then run more moisturizer farms, they freed slaves. Some they freed escaped the sand filled planet for a better life, and some humbly worked under the Lars family. 

One of the slaves that Cliegg Lars personally saved was the beautiful Shmi Skywalker. She was a very humble woman with more beauty than the binary sunsets that he watched every night. She had also mothered a young boy, who by rumor had grown into a very powerful and handsome Jedi Knight. After she was freed, she would talk endlessly about little Ani and his antics. That led Cliegg to fall deeper in love with her and her family which included a peculiar droid, whom she claimed was built by her son. Well, the droid was much more than a droid, from what Cliegg discovered. That droid, for some reason unknown to Cliegg, was also a humanoid. Flesh and blood.

It was a strange thing for the farmer to witness, but he didn’t say much. The droid, the man, was a hard worker, and most of the time stayed out of the way. He would fetch things from Mos Eisley, work on the vaporizers, and help bring food to the table. He was quite chatty, but only seemed to like to talk to Shmi. He was outgoing and helpful, even to Cliegg's son, Owen, and his girlfriend Beru. He only stayed in his droid form when out and about, but in the confines of the sandy home he was free.

More strangeness filled the Lars homestead. After an incident in Mos Eisley, the droid man bore a son. It wasn’t unheard of in the outer rim for a male to bear children, but Cliegg was a bit old fashioned about the roles of human females and males. But was that droid a human? It wasn’t for Cliegg to say. He kept his mouth shut about it all. Threepio, that was his name, was very traumatized by the incident, but still bore a healthy son, whom he named Tedwell. The son was an adventurous child, always biting at the bit of Threepio and Shmi. The golden haired man tried to teach the youngster about protocol and etiquette, but all the blacked haired boy wanted to learn about is how machines work. Threepio would just sigh and leave him alone, afraid to show his other, more robotic side, to his son. 

Threepio also talked of another man, one far off in the galaxy, fighting alongside a knight and a queen, having grand adventures every waking moment. Threepio would seem to day dream about this man, a warm blush forming on his cheek bones. He would then wipe his glasses with his quilted shawl, and shake his head in a sorry fashion, mumbling about a promise. Tedwell would just watch, confused by Threepio’s actions. He wanted to comfort his parent, but something held him back. Threepio would then just smile, and lead the youngster to bed. Tedwell was always confused, and as he grew, he saw his parent’s sadness grow. He wished he knew why his father would cry whenever he told of the adventurer. Sadly, Tedwell would never know. 

Years passed after the incident, and another, far more impacting one happened to Lars homestead. Shmi was kidnapped by the Tusken Raiders, the disgusting and disheveled sandmen. She was out in the far fields, plucking mushrooms off the vaporizers. Cliegg gathered up some men from a local cantina and rode out to rescue her, but to no avail. Cliegg was the only one who survived, but still sustaining many injuries. Cliegg tried to find another way to save his beloved Shmi, but nothing seemed to work.

Then, a cloaked stranger arrived. 

He claimed to be the long lost son of Shmi, the powerful Anakin Skywalker. The famous Jedi Knight was being wracked with dreams about his mother's doom, and he had come to investigate. And it was all too late. He found out what happened to her and sped off into the night, hunting down the sandmen who took his beloved mother. He came back, holding his deceased mother in his arms, angry tears streaking down his face. He buried her, anger welling up in his chest. He left, taking Threepio with him. Threepio had Owen promise to take good care of his son, and Owen did. 

There were no formal goodbyes, just the leaving of a well worn quilted Tatooinian shawl on his bed. 


	7. The Maestro of Kickass

“So, that’s how Tedwell came to be,” Rey sat back on a container, “I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Rey,” Threepio smiled sadly, “I’ve known about what happened ever since Artoo brought Tedwell back from Tatooine after the war.”

“So, he’s your son too? And BB-8’s half brother?” Rey asked, looking to Threepio for some verification.

“Of course, and so was BB-9E.”

“Who?” Rey shook her head, realizing how stupid all her questions must sound. She was still in shock of the droids being humanoid, and now the fact that they could have children on top of it all? Rey’s head was spinning. 

“So, Artoo, you had told me of the beginning of the Clone Wars in a vague fashion before, so can you tell us what happened in a better fashion?” Threepio smiled, blinking sweetly at Artoo.

“No need for such flirtations bantha poodoo,” Artoo laughed, sensing Threepio trying to change the mood, “I’ll go right ahead-”

But as Artoo said those words, a warning chime sounded throughout the ship. Chewy got up from a chair and ran to the cockpit, Rey and BB-8 in tow. 

“What’s going on?” Rey shouted above the sudden screeching noise of proxy alerts.

“TIE fighters coming in our direction-” BB-8 announced, looking out the cockpit window, “I’ll go man the cannons.”

“I will too,” Artoo exclaimed, running to the cannons with BB-8.

“I’ll just stay here,” Threepio stumbled into the cockpit, his golden jewelry catching the light of the stars outside the cockpit windows. He felt a bit useless at the moment as TIE fighters flew around like flies outside with Rey and Chewbacca piloting the Falcon in graceful maneuvers to keep the green bolts of energy from touching it’s frame. 

The melodic rumble of the Falcon’s cannons and the bass-like roar of the engines created a soothing but high energy musical arrangement that could only be appreciated by one who had an affinity for sure mechanical wonders. Artoo used that symphony to blast TIE fighters out of the sky in an organized fashion, like Nabooian fireworks of neon crackles of energy. He was a musician of beauty and destruction. The maestro of kick ass.

Threepio on the other hand was feeling powerless. TIE fighters kept on coming from an unknown place, replacing the ones that Artoo and Beebee shot out of the sky. Rey and Chewbacca were manically piloting the Falcon, trying to avoid the laser fire. Some of those shots did hit the Falcon and began to wear on it’s damaged and old shields. He heard no rhythm in the shots being blasted to and fro, there was no heavenly beat that made sense. Things were starting to go awry.

_ “We’ve lost the rear shields!” _ Rey shouted, brown eyes widening in panic. The TIE’s kept coming out of nowhere, as if they were emerging from the stars twinkling in deep space. If Rey was beginning to worry, then that meant that things were going down hill.

Threepio stayed back, praying to whoever heard him to save them.

And luckily, something, or someone, was coming to their rescue. 


End file.
